April 17th
by Amber Lust
Summary: The way this all started was more then the events in one night. It involved pint up frustration, fear, a feeling of the unknown, confusion, depression, desperation, finality, responsibility, in all the weight of the world on adolescent shoulders. A huge m
1. Prolog

_A/N: I have revised this chapter do to a lot of mistakes on my part. Sorry it has been so long. I have had little time on my hands to really do what I want with this story. I have been getting a lot of help from MT Pocketts. I dare say she has already published a preview chapter to come for me on her account. Hope I can make your wait worth while!!_

_Disclaimer I do not own any of JK Rowlings characters._

Prolog

There I stood, staring at the stone gargoyle that hid the Head masters office. Madame Pomfry had informed me that Professor Dumbledore already knew and I was to see him before my return to the Gryffindor common room. In her eyes I saw pity. My visit to the hospital wing had been made an hour or so after dinner. With the much insistance of my friends. It was now nine o'clock and I knew Harry and Ron would be waiting up for me.

"Ton- tongue toffee." The words poured from my mouth like someone else was saying them. The gargoyle leaped aside to present a spiral marble staircase. I climbed it numbly until I met a handsome wood door with a brass knocker. I knocked once.

"Enter." came his shockingly warm voice.

I pushed the door, and for such a large, seeming strong door, it fell open easily. I couldn't meet Dumbledore's' eyes, so instead I looked around and was hardly shocked to see my head of house, hair gathered in a neat bun (as always), but clad in her nightgown, sitting stiffly across from Dumbledore in an arm chair. She stared pointedly at me, so hard I was sure she was trying to see through me. Maybe she was hoping to see some evil darkness possessing me, Merlin how I wish it were that. Instead, she saw a pail, slightly broken, seventeen year old girl whom she had grown to be know as a pristine goody, honest and knowledgeable. I felt like I had let her down and bowed my head at her intense gaze. '_I'm so sorry_' I thought, silently wishing it made a difference.

"Miss Granger, if you would like to take a seat..." Dumbledore waved his hand towards an arm chair next to Professor McGonagall. My legs wobbled slightly as I made my way to the chair and they almost gave out on me as I seated myself. "..Great, then we can bring things to an order."

I swear it was as if we were just making a few subtle changes in my class schedule.

"I do believe you know why we are hear Miss Granger?" His voice was soft and understanding.

"Yes Professor." I squeaked, peering at him from under my bangs. I wanted to say more but what?

"I for one am very disappointed with you Miss Granger." came the upset voice of Professor McGonagall, slightly an octave higher then usual. "I thought you, of all people, would have better judgment. Honestly, at this age..." but her voice trailed off at one look of my face. I can only assume I looked absolutely pitiful. My eyes bloodshot, tear stained cheeks and probably a bloody lip to boot after biting so hard to keep from sobbing.

Sniffing slightly I straitened my posture and tilted my chin up ready to take my punishment. McGonagall's face broke into a proud, watery, sad sort of smile. It caught me slightly off guard but she patted my left knee lightly in a comforting manner.

"You were always the fair one of your lot, ready to except the punishment for your wrong doing." She used her other hand to wipe a tear from her eye. She was getting too choked up to continue.

"This time Miss Granger..."

I turn to finally look at Dumbledore, he leaned forward and handed McGonagall and me each a kerchief to wipe our now blubbering eyes. This was it, I was going to be expelled from the one place in the world hat brought me happiness, and gave me the best six years of my life with the best people in my life. Six years of self slaving and pushing, down the drain. The year's brightest student would be forced to leave.

"...we will give you more then a punishment; we will give you our help."

I flashed a startled look to Dumbledore before the flood gates burst and I completely fell to pieces.

The way this all started was more then the events in one night. It involved pint up frustration, fear, a feeling of the unknown, confusion, depression, desperation, finality, responsibility, in all the weight of the world on adolescent shoulders. A huge mistake was bound to happen, but who'd have thought it would be mine?


	2. Chapter one

_A/N: I redid this chapter a bit. Not much changed, mostly just spelling errors or words of choice. _

_Disclaimer I do not own any of JK Rowlings' characters, I am simply borrowing them for my plot then she can have them back... maybe_

Chapter one the weight of the world

"Harry, Ron, you can't be serious."

"Oh lighten up Hermione. We only want a spot of fun before your made Head Girl and have us obsessing about our N.E.W.T.'s." I watched as Ron made to scribble out, yet again, another name for his and Harry's 'guest list'. "Are we inviting Slytherins?" he asked Harry making a face that clearly said he hoped not.

"Are you joking? And have them run to Professor Snape, I think not, thanks." Again I sat there, in slight disbelief at what I learned they were planning. Sure we'd broken rules before, but all for the good of the wizarding world. I was pretty sure that the wizarding world would not fall to dark ages if this party did not happen. "I also think we should keep it to our year and above, what do you think Hermione?"

I jumped at being pulled into this. "Excuse me? Are you bloody mad? We are, that is to say, 'would be' breaking school rules!" I said scandalized.

"We would not." countered Harry rolling his eyes at me. "It will be a Hogsmead weekend, the 17th of April to be exact and like you said last year Hogshead isn't out of bounds."

"The Hogshead? Why on earth at that filthy establishment?"

"Because," he said patiently, as if talking to a small child, "How many Hogwarts students do you know, besides members of the old D.A. that hang out there? Plus we doubt that cranky old bar keep would card any one so long as they had the gold."

"Harry! Ron! That's just awful. I'll take no part! What kind of Gryffindor are you any way?"

"The kind on the prowl Hermione, the kind on the…"

"Oh don't be such a wanker Ron." I glared. "Women are not meat, nor are we property to be owned!"

"We?" he snorted and I pounced in an instant.

"What are you inquiring Ronald Weasley? That I am not a woman? That I have not obtained any feminine qualities? Or is it the fact that my brain is bigger then my breast that puts you off?" My chest was heaving and my fists were clinched. I was mustering all my strength just not to hit the idiot. He stared at me making fish faces as he coward in his chair.

"Uh...err Hermione, um... I don't uh think, I mean I know that's not what Ron meant." Harry stuttered trying to calm me down.

"Forget it Harry. Ron you're just being a prat. Sod off, I could care less about your bloody list!" and I spun on heal to march up the girls stair case to the sixth year girls dorms. Thank Merlin that most the house had gone to bed ages ago.

When I reached the 6th year, girls' dorm I gave a quick glance at the full length mirror Lavender and Pavati had hung on the wall between their beds. I was still in my school uniform, my hair spilling down my back and over both shoulders slightly obscuring my vision. I huffed it out of me face then made to my bed opening my trunk. So what if my body was a little boyish. I was still growing! Then I looked down at my chest, I could still see my shoes. I took a breast in each hand and squeezed, no bigger then a B in muggle terms. I dropped my hands and began to search through my trunk. It was the only thing not really organized but then again when had I really cared about clothes. As long as I wasn't nearly starkers I was fine. I took up what "the girls" (consisting of Lavender, Pavati, and sometimes Ginny) considered the either boyish or professional look. I can't say I had a lot to work with. I wore what I knew I wouldn't care if it dirtied. After all there was no way I could out run a flock of Death Eaters while in stiletto heels, nor could I spend the night in a mini skirt kneeling in an inch of decaying earth waiting for werewolves and rats! I was a best friend of Harry Bloody Potter and at any moment I could need to strike into action and I would not be one of those girls to check myself in a compact to make sure I looked good doing it!

I did have a blinded hope that my hair might have done that cascading spiral curl thing they mention in romance novels but as far as I know it hasn't changed. I'm very hygienic in the slightly more then normal way and that seems to give me my only deeming quality, great skin and pearly whites. I do shave my legs but I always cut them at least once or twice while doing so. Each scar makes me feel exhausted to be of the female gender sometimes. I pulled out my cotton bed dress and tossed it onto my bed. Undressing I took another look at myself. I was confident in my body in that feminist way but dared not ever really show it off. "The girls" always giggled and said that I had a prude sway about me. I took it as a compliment seeing as they were always kind of loose.

Harry never really took notice in how the 5th, 6th, and 7th year girls flaunted their "stuff" seeing as he was more concerned about the whole wizarding race rather then just it's female population. Ron on the other hand, he noticed. Noticed how they all changed and I didn't... The signals since then have been a little more then mixed. I pulled the gown over my head then climbed into bed sighing. He just bugged me sometimes and I wanted to hit him so hard that he would rather be Malfoy watching, then him coping. With that pleasant thought I squeezed my eyes shut and told myself goodnight.

For the rest of the week and on up to the Hogsmead weekend they mentioned nothing of the party in my presents. I was almost certain that they had given up or had been caught at it. But, surprise, come Saturday morning they cornered me before I could even make the last step from the girls' stairway. This caused me to tumble head first into Ron's chest. He instinctively wrapped his arms around me as I heard the air be pushed out of him.

"Ushh..." was what came out and my face was suddenly beginning to burn. I could smell fire smoke, cut grass, and something like syrup pancakes. It was a smell I had come to associate as purely Ron. Don't get me wrong, I knew Harry's smell too. It was one of moth balls, dewy grass, and broom polish. I had memorized both and they both gave me this relaxing comfort, but Ron's was my favorite. I think it was safe to say I loved or at least liked Ron way more then a brother.

I knew the feeling was mutual or at least I figured. I mean there were signals that you'd have to be blind not to notice but then a couple minutes later you just weren't sure. Not that I didn't pull the same crud. I mean look around us, we're in the middle of a war, who knew if what I was feeling was love or just maybe I was settling, because I figured 'who had time to look?'.

Blushing slightly I lifted my face to his, stuttering my apologies. He grinned and shrugged it off when he got some air back and Harry snorted at our obvious discomfort. I shot him a sharp 'shut up' look and then regained my composure, readjusting my black Smashing pumpkins t-shirt (an American rock band I had little interest in but my cousin insisted the best) and brushing off my grass stained jeans before picking up my gray jacket.

"You two wanted to tell me something or can we go to breakfast before we leave?" I asked. Ron was shuffling his feet while Harry was looking around in unconvincing innocents. "Well... what is it?" I questioned, now a little annoyed. What can I say I didn't eat a lot the other night at dinner? I was finishing my charms essay; well really I was just revising it for the sixth time.

"Okay, don't be mad Hermione." Ron started

"What are you talking about?" I looked to Harry and he took over.

"I went and talk to a few teachers and then sought out Dumbledore." I didn't get where this was going. "Well in the end he thought it was a nice idea so long as there was adult supervision and that it was considered a house unity thing."

"Wait. You have actual permission?"

"Well, yeah, but only for sixth and seventh years. We can even stay out tell 10 and Hagrid agreed to chaperone."

"Well..." I was surprised. It seemed as if they really had thought this through. "You do know that means Slytherins?"

"Yeah well, I doubt there will be many, after all they aren't required to come." said Ron sounding annoyed now him self. I laughed (Not a giggle. I didn't giggle, it was something that only happened at air headed times for girls and I didn't have those, just a simple chuckle) and both boys grinned at me. Most likely because they could tell I was no longer mad at them.

Since it was their idea, we had to head strait there to set up. Turns out the bar keep even knew and it was starting at about 4 or 5. The music was even taken care of. Not exactly the Weird Sisters, instead it was a group of students who had started a band a while back. They called them selves Tarkems, a type of wizarding fish that ate each others eye balls. They weren't bad either.

They began with streamers from Zonkos that blasted confetti. Then came a few glittery fairy lights and last were the color changing moon lights they had also purchased from Zonkos.

Hagrid showed up at 4 wearing his large trench coat and caring his own mug. First he ordered a butter beer and then he sat at my corner table. I chose it because it was the most solitary place in the pub. When he sat I didn't even have to glance over my ancient ruins book to see him.

"Well, 'ello 'mione. How are they comin'?"

"Oh fine Hagrid; you know them, though I did have to stop a glitter fight. Now their hair twinkles in the fairy lights." He chuckled and took to glancing around as I made a few more notes in my book.

Come 4:30 Hagrid had moved from my table and was now chatting and laughing with Harry, Ron, and Neville in a far booth. By 5 all of Gryffindor 6th and 7th had arrived and hand fills of Ravenclaw and Huffelpuff. Drinks from water to mead were being served. The music had an aggressive beat to it and lots of students had cleared tables to make more room for dancing so that I had to move to the bar. I wasn't mad though.

I had danced a slight few and Ron was now shoving his fire whisky at me. "Watch this for me." he grinned drunkenly as he pulled Lavender off to the dance floor. _It's okay Hermione_ I comforted myself. _It's not like he's yours and besides it's just one dance._ Still I found myself taking a sip of his drink and gazing occasionally in their direction. They danced close, to close. He was whispering something in her ear and her eyes slightly rolled back as her lips bowed upward. My grip tightened and I practically chugged the rest of his drink coughing at the burning sensation in my throat. I wasn't drunk; I could tell because when I glanced at the text of my book to keep my mind clear I still knew what it was saying. Still my hand wobbled slightly.

"What's wrong can't hold your liquor Granger" startled at how close my brain registered the voice I whipped around to see Malfoy leaning against the closet wall holding a mug of something steaming to his chest. My facial features went from shock to revolution. Suddenly the anger I had been suppressing began to bubble over. I turned away and stared steadily out at the dance floor. Ron was still whispering and Lavender was practically dry humping his leg. Disgusted and now working hard to hide it I decided to take my chances with the ferret. If all went well Ron would notice and come back for me. It was probably 8 by now. We could go back to the common room, maybe snog a little and hope for the best. If things didn't work out we could always blame it on the alcohol.

He had moved closer when I turned back, in fact he was in the seat beside me staring at Ron and Lavender too. "No big surprise." He said to me and I became aggressive.

"What do you mean 'no big surprise'? I'll have you know Ron doesn't even like her!" I said in a whiny voice kicking myself because I sounded so pre-teen.

He raised his eye brow at me, "Does the mudblood fancy the weasel? I some how knew it. The way you salivate after him and the pathetic way you color when he brushes against you. It's revolting to the rest of wizarding kind." I was more embarrassed then hurt. If he noticed how many others did? But I played it cool.

"Sod off Malfoy." He chuckled and I seethed. _Smug bastard!_ "I'm irritated as it is, do you really want to try your luck?"

"Ooo... am I suppose to be afraid, please, spare me the lecture. I wouldn't talk to someone as low class as you if I was promised Merlin's own hat." He took a sip of his drink and kept staring out onto the dance floor. I noticed his eyes look slightly fogy but his composure was still solid. Then it hit me, since when did any Slytherins get here?

So I asked, "Why are you here?"

"I love to piss off the Golden Trio." He offered shrugging with that smug smirk of his.

"No, I mean, why are any Slytherins here?" he looked at me like I was stupid.

"You are one dense mudblood." I just rolled my eyes. "This is a 'House Unity' party besides, free drinks." He raised his mug at me.

"There are no free drinks."

He shrugged, "Mine was." and tipped the mug to his lips for a drink.

"You stole that? That's immoral!"

He snorted, splashing some gray steaming liquid onto the bar top. It burnt a small circle the size of a knut. Glaring I turn away from him and made to get up. I didn't have to put up with this.

Just then I saw Lavender and Ron making their way toward me, hand in hand. Maybe it was just to make sure they didn't lose each other, I mean it was crowded. Malfoy must have been reading my mind because I could feel him smirking at me before he whispered, "This should be good." Then he melted into the crowd. I sat back down to wait for Ron.

Lavender was giggling like mad and they were falling all over each other. I forced a smile that probably looked like a grimace. "You all right Hermione? You look kind of sick. You want me to see if I can get Neville to walk you back?" Ron asked and I herd a snort behind me somewhere off to the left.

"No I'm fine, I just saw Malfoy, is all. You're better on the eyes though." I could feel how cold his stair was, but Ron chuckled and my smile became more pronounced. "Hey you wanna find Harry and get a bite some where?"

"Well actually," He glanced at Lavender and out of the corner of my eye I saw her squeeze his hand. His ears were now burning red, "Lav and I were ganna, err... go for a walk, umm… alone, sorry Hermione."

"No -- its fine -- I understand. I'm guessing you want me to cover for you then?" the grin fell slightly from my lips but I worked hard to mask it. My heart was aching and the only thing I could think to do was go auto pilot on friend mode.

"Thanks Hermione I owe you big." He hugged me and I could smell fire smoke, cut grass, and syrup pancakes with a strong aura of whisky. Then they were both out the door of the pub. Suddenly I wanted to cry, just burst into tears but I didn't. I tilted my chin up even though my lip quivered. Then I closed my eyes to hold the emotion back and took a deep breath to steady myself.

"Not ganna cry are we mudblood?" Not the voice of comfort I was looking for. I could feel him, he was close, directly behind me, and we were in this dark, secluded corner. I didn't think I'd draw much attention so I spun around and decked him, right in the jaw. My hand throbbed but the look of shock on his smug face was worth all the pain.

He had landed on his arse and was propping himself up on one elbow while he used the other hand in checking his face. I smirked down on him. "Don't worry, I feel better now."

He glared up at me, "You'll pay for that you mudblooded tramp!"

"Me? The tramp? Please. You're the one who prances around like a trollop, and besides," I glanced behind me to check for any person who might be watching are conflict before tuning back to him. I watched as he struggled to stand. "You're just the son of a Death Eater; your words have little meaning to me."

Suddenly I heard Harry's voice call to me from a couple of feet away. "Hey! Her-mine-eee!" He sung out to me.

"Over here Harry!" I called back waving my arm in the air so he could spot me.

"Why you little… damn!" I heard Malfoy swear. "We'll be talking Granger." He whispered quickly before shoving past me and into the crowd for the second time tonight. I wondered for an instant what he meant and knew it couldn't be good.

"Was he bugging you?" Harry asked when he had finally pushed his way to me.

"Yeah but I can handle myself." At his disbelieving look I added, "Don't worry about it. You know I can handle a ruff situation. How many times do I have to prove it to you before you believe me?" I wasn't mad, it was in Harry's nature and instinct to be worried for those close to him. I mean after all we've been through, what he's been through and who's after him using any means.

He smiled unconvincingly, "All right, I do know you can take care of your self, I'm just getting a weird vibe from him tonight."

"Yeah, well me to but its no biggy. So, what have you been doing tonight?" I was curious, the last I saw he was having a chug contest with Lee- Jordan, Dean, Neville and a few other boys.

He blushed and scratched the back of his head. "I must be really sloshed." He mumbled and I raised my eye brows at him. His face blushed darker and he averted his eyes from mine.

"What? What's so bad huh? Is ikle Harry embarrassed about snogging?" I figured that's what it had to be.

"It's more 'who' and I think I hit second base." He shrugged like no big deal but I knew he was probably dying to tell someone.

"Harry!" I knew it was the reaction he was expecting and that my job was to be a guy about this since Ron had left. "Well, who is she?" I nudge him with my elbow and he grinned.

"Parkinson." My eyes got huge and my mouth fell open. He chuckled uncomfortably. "Please don't tell any one. Especially Ron. You know he'd freak and it was only a one time thing. Totally unexpected, she kind of just jumped me, and I had been drinking…" he stumbled on and I just stood there in shock. Parkinson? What the hell? Ron and Lavender, and now Harry and PANSY? What a kick in the gut. With my luck tonight I'd get stuck in an empty booth drowning my woe-sums in mead and pub nuts.

Suddenly I realized Harry was still mumbling excuses to me. I put my hand up to stop him and surfaced an understanding, worry less expression. Hook line and sinker. I felt myself suffocating inside when he said, "Thank you so much Hermione. I knew you'd be more understanding."

I brushed it aside. "It's aright Harry, you're drunk." It was a blunt and very obvious statement. He leaned crooked and held a bar stool for support all through his confession. "Why don't you head back to the common room? I'll clean up after every ones gone. Besides you should probably get Hagrid back too. He looks absolutely beat." This was true. Hagrid had his head in his arms resting on the table and his drool was starting to make a puddle.

Harry hic upped an, "O... K..." then toddled over to help Hagrid up and out of the pub. I did a quick surveillance and noted the bar keep looked more harassed then normal and half the students were curled or cuddled together sleeping or snogging. Those on the dance floor were all practically having dry sex.

I climbed onto a table booth and received a couple of wolf whistles. I was too tiered, to irritated and to annoyed to blush. I cupped my hands around my mouth like a muggle megaphone then began to belt out orders. The music turned off with a wave of a wand and the crowd awake moaned disapprovingly. "It is now 9:30 and this party is officially over!" they booed drunkenly but I continued "If you stay you will be put to work and made to clean. You have until officially 10 to make it bake to your Common rooms." After I had said "clean" the crowd had already began to dissipate through the doors.

Climbing down I sat in the booth seat scooted to the wall so as not to draw more attention to myself. I put my head in my arms resting part of my fore head onto the cool, crumb infested table waiting for people to leave and my head to stop spinning so I could clean up and get back to bed. The only up point in tonight was when I had decked Malfoy. I sighed.

"Pity Granger I was hoping for a quaint little show when you climbed up on the table, instead to my great disappointment you were simply the bossy know-it-all you always are." I growled into the pit between my upper and lower arm as he scooted in next to me. I looked up and saw most of the crowd had left. The rest were pushing their way to the door.

I turned and glared at him. He was only adding to my pile of things not to let bug me tonight, but every thing still did. He turned and looked at me and I suddenly got this feeling that things were just getting worse. I needed to get away from him. His eyes had become still foggier but his form remained as normal or nonchalant as if this were an every day event, to be talking to a mudblood. It always buzzed me how he worked at nothing and still remained slightly above average not that he was any where close to my grades but his mere presents put me on nails. Sure I acted like I wasn't pushed or bothered, except when he was after my boys. I know that sounds possessive but that's what they were to me, my best mates is how they might have put it. I noticed a lot how he used me to get to Harry and Ron. He saw me as the weak link because of my background, my heritage, "muggle born". I was, of course, irked by this so I made it up in book smarts and teacher lectures. I was scared beyond a doubt that I might meet a curse or spell or potion I knew nothing about and I would not be able to help my friends. It was the only thing I was good at, I didn't know how to be brave or funny or even how to make friends. It came so easy to Ron and Harry. So instead I mastered myself in their weaknesses.

"What do you want Malfoy. I find it very hard that you would be one to volunteer a helping hand in cleaning." I glared knowing this wasn't going to be good.

"I believe we are due for a little chat." His voice was casual but his body language was slightly unreadable. He leaned closer and whispered "After you're done here I'll met you at the Hogwarts gates, 10 o'clock." He pulled away and went to leave.

"Wait a moment, we have to be back by ten, and why on earth would I want to talk to you!" I too whispered this but in a more furious then casual way. What was he doing bossing me around and in fact thinking I would trust him? He seemed annoyed at my lack of obedience. Well good I thought maybe he'll learn he doesn't always have power.

"I know you will be there because your curiosity will kill you if your not." He gave me a gloating smirk like he knew me so well.

"Opposed to showing up and having you do the job? No thanks." I snorted and he glared.

"Fine suit your self; I'm sure the news will have spread by tomorrow afternoon any way." He snapped and made to leave again.

Damn my curiosity but… "What news?" I asked. He stopped at the door everyone else had already left through. The only people left were Malfoy, the bar keep, and me. The bar keep was snoozing in one of the other booths.

Turning he said in a tone of finality "10 o'clock." and then left through the door.

"Arrrgh!" he made me so mad. Like he had the right to demand obedience from me? As if I was going to listen to a git like him. He could be tricking me. Using me to get at Harry like every other time. I am not weak! I'd show him! I'd show him Hermione Jane Granger could stand up for her self. That blood made no difference. Tonight would be the last night he would call me a Mudblood and not expect a consequence! Through out my little rant I realized I had already finished half my chores the muggle way. A true contribution to how angry I was. I glanced at the clock above the bar and realized I had 15 minutes to get back. Pulling out my wand I conjured a large black sack for garbage, then using a quick accio I collected the trash and decorations. Next I collected cups and mugs as well as some jars. After cleaning them, I placed them all back on their shelves. All that was left was a quick sweep.

Finishing I grabbed my gray jacket which had been left on my bar stool all night, not that anyone noticed, my runes book with the bit of parchment shoved in it from notes and slipped my wand back into the waist band of my jeans. Leaving the bar keep to sleep I dashed out the door forgetting my anger and hurrying to get back before the gate was shut for the night. According to Harry and Ron a password was placed for the short time on the gate so the students could get back to the school. Time was up at 10:01 pm. As I rushed down I cursed for not having a watch seeing as the last one die when I forgot to take it off doing the dishes over the summer. It bugged me all year but I had always had Harry to ask the time. Running I slipped my jacket on and zipped it up.

My legs ached by the time I reached the gate and I was panting hard trying to slow the beating of my heart. "Um... uh..." I panted as I struggled to remember the password Harry had told me.

"Hogshead." came a board drawl and the gate opened. Pushing past the smug bastard in his Slytherins cloak I marched through the gates and began down the path to the school. I herd the gate close just before the boy called to me.

"10 o'clock sharp Granger, nice to know you're punctual." He teased. Trying to ignoer him I could feel my pent up emotions getting the better of me, the anger I had, had for him before surfacing again. "Do you want to hear a little rumor? It's something you could say… I stumbled across." My fist clenched and my jaw set. I turned around to yell at him.

"I don't need to hear anything from _you_! Your words have no meaning to me. You lack my respect for them to have any meaning. I hate _you_ and I hate this _night_!" I walked towards him punching my finger into him with every hate I could spit out. He flexed under my jives taking a small step back each time.

His yes flashed in the light of the lantern perched above the gate. It was the only one left from here to the castle steps. The path was pitch dark. "Disgusting…" he hissed at me. "To watch that pitiful display of your love triangle. Tell me Granger, does it hurt to know your only second best?" his voice was dangerously soft and I held my breath. "All those stupid classes you were preoccupied with and it happened right under your nose." His voice was hallowed and his eyes were still that foggy gray. "I must admit I nearly died of laughter when I walk out for a bit of air…" he let out a low, humorless chuckle. "He had her pushed against the slimy brick wall of that ugly tavern, her moaning his disgusting name."

The color was draining from my face. "Shut up." I whispered feebly. "Shut up you ungrateful little ferret!" I shout this time throwing my fist into his chest and catching him off guard. He gave an ufff before he could get hold of my wrist. I twisted and pulled, shoved and tossed my body weight around all the time yelling, "Shut up! Shut up! Shut up! Shut up!" but he only raised his voice above mine and kept hold to my wrist to prevent injury to himself.

"Him moaning her name back. THRUSTING UPON EACH OTHER LIKE DOGS! YOU SHOULD HAVE SEEN HIS SHOCK WHEN I STEPPED OUT GRANGER! BUT DID THEY STOP?" he shouted above me. My voice slowly sank into sobs.

"Shut up." I pleaded "Just stop, I don't want to know. I don't want to hear." My voice was hoarse with anger and my body was losing strength. I stopped fighting him and instead leaned on him for support; hopping maybe he would be disgusted with the closeness and drop me. I felt his body tense under me but he didn't drop me, instead he leaned me against the stone wall of the gate.

His voice lowered as he continued, "No! The git just told me to bugger off Granger. No respect that one! Just a dirty little hand me down weasel!" His voice held indignation while his eyes watched my face, wanting to drink in my pain and misery.

'Ron', I knew, it wasn't hard to figure but the conformation tore at my heart, He had taunted and teased me in our 1st year together. It took Harry Potter and a mountain troll to make us friends. What would it have taken to make us more? Was I stupid enough to not realize it?

"Take it back!" I yelled in denial, pushing him with all my might and staring him down. He stumbled a few paces back but remained standing. This did little to ebb my anger. So I attacked him again, slamming my fist hard into his chest. "Liar, liar, liar, liar, liar!" I ranted as I slowly began to feel physically and emotionally exhausted.

"No…" he hissed softly into my ear as he pressed me to the wall again.

"How could he? How... how..." I looked up to him with watery determined eyes, "Am I that stupid?" I knew I was asking the wrong person if I was looking for an ego boost. His body was pressed against mine simply to hold me up. My arms hung limp by my side as he boxed me in with his. I rested my aching head against his shoulder, feeling him tense, as I let the wave of my stupidity crash over me. When I had dated Victor Krum in forth year there was no doubting he was jealous but when I stopped he seemed to have forgotten about me. He was so complicated. I mumbled into Malfoys' shoulder and I felt him shrug it slightly. "Aaargh..." I half sobbed, half screamed into his shoulder. He startled at my sudden burst and pulled back from me causing my head to drop from his shoulder. I let it hang there before I wiped away my tears and pulled my brave face. "Screw him." I said in a steady voice and Malfoy gave me an incredulous look.

The moment was frozen when our eyes met "Bitch..." He whispered

"Bastard..." I said in equal volume.

I can't explain the emotions that ran through me with those breathless words. We were enemies, he was a racist pig as well as a soon to be death eater. I was the best friend of the boy who lived and would most likely be hunting him down some day. Those words we uttered seem to try and confirm who we were at that moment. To let us know that we were different… and still that moment progressed to a memory I would never in all my life believe was not a dream if reality had not come smashing down on me in days to come.


End file.
